oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
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its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
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I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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