Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
3 2 1 whiskey
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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