It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
