Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
