Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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