im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
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