..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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