my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
