I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
