i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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