it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
