i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
My ass is underappreciated
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
