Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
