i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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