the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize