Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
you will always have a special place in my vag
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
