please come you make the beer taste better
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
