now i know why i became what i already was.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
