They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
