I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I'm always down for nudity.
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