The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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