Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I wish I could teleport
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
