I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
