I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Randomize
