I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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