i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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