i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
