How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
