apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
