we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
