I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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