I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Randomize
