That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize
