Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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