"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
