okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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