lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
