Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
