I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
