What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
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i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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