They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize