he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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