Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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