"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
