i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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