So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
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If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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