you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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