His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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