My brain says no but my pants say off.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
you made out with another girl for some wings
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Randomize
