sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
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I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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