glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
