Texts From Last Night

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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?

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  (630): Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league? http://tfl.nu/urmj
  Replies (15) Good night (2712) Bad night (990) Order T-Shirt
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  (510): View more from California

  im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.

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  (510): im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife. http://tfl.nu/itl3
  Replies (10) Good night (3585) Bad night (825) Order T-Shirt
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night

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  (609): id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night http://tfl.nu/kxc6
  Replies (11) Good night (3486) Bad night (839) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.

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  (203): You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly. http://tfl.nu/n1s3
  Replies (13) Good night (5576) Bad night (928) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.

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  (717): man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks. http://tfl.nu/cdmu
  Replies (18) Good night (4274) Bad night (1146) Order T-Shirt
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.

  (478): View more from Georgia

  Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.

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  (251): I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts. (478): Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions. http://tfl.nu/kp4v
  Replies (13) Good night (2799) Bad night (1002)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child

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  (330): I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child http://tfl.nu/htew
  Replies (8) Good night (1828) Bad night (714) Order T-Shirt
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.

  (308): View more from Nebraska

  Pass the awkward sauce please.

  (928): View more from Arizona

  I'm drowning in it here

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  (928): My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking. (308): Pass the awkward sauce please. (928): I'm drowning in it here http://tfl.nu/qbnt
  Replies (4) Good night (1427) Bad night (833)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.

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  (774): It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia. http://tfl.nu/toig
  Replies (6) Good night (1020) Bad night (539) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy

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  (603): ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy http://tfl.nu/t11r
  Replies (13) Good night (2368) Bad night (425) Order T-Shirt
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica

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  (540): I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica http://tfl.nu/lleg
  Replies (2) Good night (1821) Bad night (372) Order T-Shirt
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  We left the knife in your bed.

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  (780): We left the knife in your bed. http://tfl.nu/mwcc
  Replies (9) Good night (449) Bad night (1025) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?

  (1-404): View more from Georgia

  At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Why did I wake up by myself then?

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  (404): Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach? (1-404): At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place. (404): Why did I wake up by myself then? http://tfl.nu/82c4
  Replies (3) Good night (1286) Bad night (290)
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  (575): View more from New Mexico

  Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.

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  (575): Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them. http://tfl.nu/kglo
  Replies (7) Good night (338) Bad night (722) Order T-Shirt
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  (916): View more from California

  you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"

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  (916): you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances" http://tfl.nu/1xse
  Replies (2) Good night (962) Bad night (167)

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