You really coming over, don't trick.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all