i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
i want to swaddle you in tequila
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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