Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
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