So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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