I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
What happened to fro yo and sex?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
