this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
You took a bar mat shot.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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