I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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