all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
