I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
